Hate to Love Him
by PotterScar
Summary: Based on Snape's Worst Memory OotP. A look into how Lily really felt about the entire event. Lily's POV, JPLE.


**Dialogue belongs to J.K. Rowling and was taking from _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_.**

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"Leave him ALONE!"

Why couldn't that stupid git behave himself! I had just finished a stressful Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, and barely ten seconds after it's over, he's already tormenting somebody!

Potter stood there, his wand in the air, levitating Snape, looking at me with a grin. "All right, Evans?" he said smoothly, giving me a smile that would melt most girls hearts. I gave him one of my coldest glares.

"Leave him alone," I repeated, giving James a withering look. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," he said slowly, "it's more the fact that he _exists_, if you know what I mean..."

This just served to infuriate me more. My anger wasn't eased by the throng of students laughing at poor Severus' expense. In fact, it only served to make me even more furious, so furious that I didn't notice that Lupin wasn't laughing either.

"You think you're funny," I said icily, "but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

He seemed to grab onto some bait that he'd fished around for. "I will if you go out with me, Evans," he said hastily. "Go on... Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

I hesitated, feeling something rising in me, but it wasn't hatred. I noticed Snape beginning to move again, and suddenly, I was saying, "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

Black just shrugged and said, "Bad luck, Prongs," briskly. I stared at him; do boys have no sympathy for their friends? "OY!"

Suddenly, in a flash of light, Snape had cut open James' face, splattering his robes with blood. I involuntarily gasped; that was so... dishonorable! Attacking while your opponent's back was turned?

James looked beyond furious and spun around, raising his wand. In a flash of light, Snape was spun upside down and was hanging in the air, his robes obeying gravity and falling over his head to reveal his skinny, pale legs and a pair of rather dirty looking underpants.

The crowed cheered, as if James and Sirius were heroes. Personally, I wanted to smile at the hilarity of it all. I almost did, too. But I had to keep my composure... I was a prefect!

"Let him down!" I said, albeit weakly.

"Certainly," James said rather cheerfully, and he jerked his wand upward. Snape fell to the ground, landing in a heap. He leaped to his feet in a catlike fashion, wand at the ready, but Sirius was quicker.

"_Locomotor Mortis,"_ he said, and Snape fell to the ground, rigid as a board. Suddenly, I felt that fury return to me, and I yanked my wand from my robes pocket.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I yelled, a hush falling over the crowd. James and Sirius glanced at my wand carefully.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said cheekily, and I almost sighed.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed dramatically, then sullenly muttered the countercurse, letting Snape up.

"There you go," he said. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus–"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

I snarled under my breath, keeping my temper in check. "Fine," I bit coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash my pants if I werey ou, _Snivellus_." I almost felt satisfaction saying it.

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared. I felt something in me, almost like gratitude towards James for caring so much, but I retorted, "I don't want _you _to make him apologize," I said. Especially after an incident like that. "You're as bad as he is..."

I've always been a great liar.

"What?" James yelped, looking wounded. "I'd NEVER call you a– you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just good off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

I practically ran away, feeling like pure shit. I didn't mean it. I really didn't. I heard him calling after me, and I wanted to turn around, but I couldn't...

"What is it with her?" I heard James ask, but I didn't hear what any of his mates replied.

"Lily? Where are you going?" I heard my friends calling as I walked into the castle.

"Just getting my Transfiguration book!" I called over my shoulder. The second I was in the castle, I sprinted up to the common room, and barely made it to my dorm before I burst into tears.

It's not that I loved to hate him...

It's just that I hated to love him.

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**Not very good... ah, well, had to get the idea out of my head.**


End file.
